#78 Nurturing Your Child’s Inner Wisdom

Our son struggled a lot when he was in school. As a student, he just really had a difficult time. took him a long time to process things, but man, a chevitz did he have an inner wisdom and a withitness that he brought with himself into this world? It was unbelievable, and I knew I would never have to worry about this kid. He always lands on his feet and he knows what he needs and he trusts it and I'll never forget the day he came home from school and he said, "Mom, you know those kids that go into the one classroom and there's only a couple of them in there with the one teacher and then that's where they are the whole day and they're learning. I said, yeah. He said, I think that would be great for me. I think I could learn very well that way. And I said, "Wow, that's so insightful. Let's see what that could look like for you."

"Mom, could you be my teacher?"

You know, he would come home from school and I would be helping him with his work, you know, if he was having a difficult time, I would, you know, coach him through. I never did work for my kids, but I would help him through it if he needed help, like any other parent, I would give him the support that he needed. And he would say to me, "Mom, can you just please teach me? Do you think that you could just stay home and be my teacher, and I can learn at home with you, because I really understand it when you teach me, but I can't understand it when I'm in school?"

That just broke my heart. I've always had this to parents and back to school and like, when I'm looking at your children, when I'm looking at their faces, I see my children's faces on all of their bodies because I want to make sure that I am taking care of your children the way I hope somebody is taking care of my children in the classrooms that they're sitting in. I recognize that every little face sitting in front of me belongs to somebody else, and they are entrusting me with those kids. I just wanted the same for mine so badly. Sometimes our son got that, and sometimes he didn't. And when he didn't, we taught him how you make it work.

That's a life lesson. You don't get a chance to just pick up and leave if you're not happy with your boss. You don't get a chance to just go work in a different department if you don't like your colleague. So we were never the parents who took their kids out of a class because they didn't like their teacher, or we didn't like their teacher. We never asked for our kids to be assigned to a certain teacher or a certain team. No, because that's that's just not the way that it works, right? We trusted the system and, more importantly, we trusted our kids. That's why it's today I'm talking today about the importance of helping our children trust their inner wisdom, because when they do, they not only become better learners, but they also become more grounded, competent, and compassionate human beings.

The Real Magic

As parents, we carry the profound responsibility and the great privilege of guiding our children through life and learning, but what if I told you the most powerful tool we can offer? It isn't a specific strategy, a polished curriculum, or even the latest educational trend? What if the real magic lies in helping our children connect to something they already have? Their inner wisdom.

After 25 years in the classroom and now coaching students, parents, and teachers on how to shift from overwhelm to clarity and more ease, I've learned this. When a child trusts themselves, they begin to thrive, not just in school, but in life.

Our kids often know far more than we give them credit for. They're inner compass, their intuition, is strong, especially when we help them notice and honor it. So, whether they're choosing a book to read, deciding on how to approach an assignment, or figuring out where they fit in socially, encourage them to check in with how it feels.

Get Out the Head & Into the Body

You might just gently ask them, well, what feels like the best choice for you right now? When you think about making this decision, what does it feel like in your body? And then, when you think about making this choice, how does that feel? and allow them to embody it, because this helps them to pause, reflect, and trust that they already carry wisdom inside of them, and this is where confidence begins.

It's not always easy to watch our kids struggle or fail, right, but in truth, some of their greatest growth comes from the messy moments. This would always be such a sticky word for me to use with parents when I was teaching, when I would send out a survey in the welcome email before the year even started. I wanted to know what they thought about failure.

I would get so many mixed responses to that question. Parents DID NOT want to talk at all about the word failure when it had anything to do with their kids. The point I was making with that survey and with the conversation around it was all about how we learned from our mistakes. Fail and fail often, right? Because without it, we can't figure out another way to do something. It's all a part of the critical thinking process.

The Hard Truth For Parents

The greatest growth comes from the messy moments. Instead of rushing to rescue, consider stepping back and giving them space to figure it out. Let them try, let them wobble. Within your loving boundaries, allow your child to take ownership of their choices. When they do, they build resilience, critical thinking, and a deeper sense of who they are and what matters to them.

You've already made your mistakes, and hey, I have tried on numerous occasions, both my husband, to try and share our mistakes with our kids, especially when we saw the mistake as it was unfolding, or when they would make a decision, and we already knew the outcome. The truth of it is, we've lived our lives already, and we have to let them live theirs and make the mistakes so that they can learn from them. That's just the hard truth for parents.

Children are constantly processing big feelings, and a lot of the time, they might not have the language for that, and our job isn't to shield them from those feelings. It's to help them navigate the feelings, let them feel them, let those feelings move through them. When your child is upset, sad, or angry, hold space without judgment. Listen with your full heart. Sometimes they don't need a fix, they just need to know. They're safe and seen.

This emotional validation builds emotional intelligence in them. It also strengthens the trust they have in themselves because when they know their feelings are okay, they learn that they, too, are okay. Supporting your child's inner wisdom isn't about handing them answers. It's the exact opposite. It's about helping them discover their own. It's about raising thinkers, feelers, creators, and truth tellers.

When we focus less on control and more on connection, something beautiful happens. Our children begin to walk through the world with confidence and courage, and joy, so try some of these shifts in your day-to-day life. Watch how your child responds. Celebrate even the smallest steps and keep coming back to this truth:

They already hold so much wisdom inside. Your role is to simply help them remember it.

There's no perfect parenting playbook, and there doesn't need to be. By showing up with love, curiosity, and a willingness to listen, you're already helping your child build a deep connection to their inner wisdom.

Keep offering those gentle reminders that they're capable, that their voice matters, and that they can trust themselves. And remember, you have inner wisdom too, the more you trust yours, the more you model that trust for your child, and that's such a beautiful gift to give to them and yourself.

So keep going, parents. I know you're giving it the best you've got. And each day is a little different with what you can give. Keep listening. Keep growing, because no matter how old your kids are we're all walking this path together.

If you've got some stories to share about kids and inner wisdom, I'd love to hear them. Your insights and experiences might just be the spark that another parent needs to hear. So DM me or leave a comment on Instagram at @jenncaputo because when we lift each other up, we all grow wiser.

Remember, it's not about being perfect. It's about being easy with the practice.