#82 When the Kids Are Home & You’re Running on Empty

Have you ever found yourself snapping at your kids… or class… and then instantly regretting it?

Yeah. Me too.

It doesn’t mean you’re mean. It means you’re human.

And likely… dysregulated.

That was me one morning, making a snarky comment to my class about something as silly as pencils. I watched my students freeze and look at me like something was off. And in that instant, I knew: this wasn’t about them. It was about me, stuck in a stress response I didn’t even realize I was living in.

But seriously… how is it that no one had a pencil when I had just filled the jar with a fresh batch of perfectly sharpened Ticonderogas? I’m talking brand new. Still smelled like the pencil sharpener. And yet, suddenly… nothing. Gone. Like a Bermuda Triangle for school supplies.

Here’s the thing: when our nervous systems are fried, our patience goes out the window. And the guilt that follows is heavy, the real problem is we’re running on empty, and no one ever taught us how to refill.

That’s why today, we’re talking about the hidden cost of chronic stress and what it takes to get back to center. Back to ourselves. Let’s talk about it!

Summer’s Here... and So Is the Overwhelm

Let’s be real: summer break isn’t always a break. The kids are home. Work doesn’t stop. Routines shift. Schedules clash. You’re trying to plan vacations, juggle camps, keep up with emails, and find five minutes to yourself to drink your coffee while it’s still warm.

It’s a lot. And your nervous system knows it.

When you're pulled in a dozen directions, constantly responding to “I’m bored,” “Can I have a snack?” or “Where’s my bathing suit?”, “Can I go to my friends to swim?” that snap doesn’t come from nowhere. It’s your body’s way of saying, “This is all  too much.”

Why We React Before We Connect

Here’s a little brain science to help you give yourself some grace:

🧠 Under stress, our amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) hijacks our ability to think clearly. It floods the body with cortisol and adrenaline, priming us for fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

The result?
Your prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that handles empathy, patience, and reasoning, goes offline. You say things you don’t mean. You snap when you meant to soothe. You walk away feeling like you failed.

But here’s the truth:
You’re not failing.
You’re not falling apart.
You’re just carrying more than your nervous system can comfortably hold in this moment.

And that’s something you can shift with support and a simple tool.

Try This Instead: The 5-4-3-2-1 Reset

If breathwork isn’t hitting the mark today, or you just want another tool for your wellness toolbox, try this:

The 5-4-3-2-1 Reset is a powerful, science-backed grounding technique that helps bring you (and your nervous system) back into the present moment.

Here’s how it works:

5 – Name five things you can see.
☀️ The sunlight through the blinds. A sock under the couch. The pile of pool towels.

4 – Name four things you can touch.
🖐 The table edge. Your jeans. Your kid’s sticky hand. (It’s always sticky, right?)

3 – Name three things you can hear.
👂 A lawnmower outside. Laughter in the next room. Your own breath.

2 – Name two things you can smell.
🌸 Lotion. Leftovers. Or maybe just air, and that’s okay.

1 – Name one thing you can taste.
🍓 Water. Coffee. Even just the memory of toothpaste. Anything will do.

Why It Works

This practice utilizes sensory awareness to draw you out of the swirling mental chaos and into the present moment. It’s what scientists call bottom-up regulation, a way to calm the brain through the body, especially when thinking your way out of stress just isn’t working.

This is embodiment, getting out of our heads and into the body. This is a trick I do when working with clients who are scattered when they first come into a session. They want to heal so badly, and they begin to talk about everything they’re going through, and I need to get them to focus on just one thing at one place in time. 

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 is an easy and powerful way to make this happen.

It works with your nervous system, not against it. It’s trauma-informed. It’s gentle. And best of all…it’s portable!

You can use this in the classroom, in the kitchen, in the car, at the campsite, or in line at Target. No one even has to know you’re doing it.

And when you model it? Your kids learn it too. Because co-regulation is real, and they’re watching how you handle the hard stuff.

THEY ARE ALWAYS WATCHING HOW YOU HANDLE THE HARD STUFF.

This Is How We Stay Human in the Hard Moments

When the volume of life gets too loud and the summer schedule feels more like a maze than a break, remember:

You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present.

Try the 5-4-3-2-1 Reset. Teach it. Model it. Use it.

This is how we come back to ourselves.
This is how we parent.
This is how we teach.
This is how we move through these long, hot days…not by holding it all together, but by creating space to breathe inside it all.

Pause.
Notice.
Reconnect.

You are doing so much more than enough. You’re adapting. You’re showing up. You’re still here.
And that’s strength, so give yourself credit for it.

If you've got some stories to share or questions to ask, I'd love to hear them. Your insights and experiences might just be the spark that another parent needs to hear. Leave a comment or DM me on Instagram at @jenncaputo because when we lift each other up, we all grow wiser.

Remember, it's not about being perfect. It's about being easy with the practice.