#84 The Truth About Healing No One Talks About

There was this morning, I had just finished all the things…tapping, breathwork, journaling…the whole routine I know so well. The diffuser was on, tea in hand, cozy blanket wrapped around me. From the outside? I was doing everything right.

But inside, I felt like I was dragging bricks around. I was irritable. Tired. Doubting myself. And I remember thinking, “Why does it feel so hard?”

That moment taught me something I now remind my clients and myself of often: just because it feels hard doesn’t mean it’s not working.

Healing isn’t a straight path. It’s not a checklist or a timeline. It’s full of spirals, pauses, deep dives, and unexpected detours. And it will stir things up before it settles things down.

So if you're feeling stretched thin, or like you’re spinning your wheels even though you’re showing up… that’s not failure. That’s the work.

You're growing. You’re processing. You’re peeling back layers that took years to build.

And that’s exactly where we begin today, with the truth that healing can feel tough, even when you're doing it “right.”

Why isn’t this working?

You’ve tried meditation. You’ve whispered affirmations into your tea. You’ve even cried during breathwork or EFT. And for a moment? It helped. But then… life.

Someone gets sick. Your to-do list triples. You feel triggered again. An unexpected bill pops up.
And suddenly you’re wondering: “Have I made any progress at all?”

This is the moment when most people give up.
But more importantly, it’s the moment we must redefine progress.

The Truth: Healing Looks Like Loops, Not Ladders

Healing is not a climb. It’s a spiral.
You circle back to the same triggers, but each time, you come with a little more awareness, a little more breath, a little more self-compassion.

That’s growth.

That’s the work.

That’s how you retrain your nervous system to hold peace inside the mess.

The Shift: Don’t Wait to Feel Calm to Practice Calm

You don’t tap because you feel peaceful.
You tap so that your body learns what peace feels like in the middle of stress.

You don’t breathe because everything’s fine.
You breathe so that your system can find steadiness even when it’s not.

You are reprogramming a lifetime of survival mode.
That takes grace. It takes practice. It takes time.

Try This: The “Then vs. Now” Reflection

Ask yourself:

• When was the last time I felt this triggered… and how did I respond then vs. now?
  
  
• Am I noticing that I need to pause sooner?
  
  
• Am I offering myself more compassion than I used to?
  
  
• Am I coming back to my tools, even if imperfectly?
  
  

If the answer is yes to any of those… friend, you’re shifting.
Even if it’s messy. Especially if it’s messy.

Place your hand on your heart and tell yourself:

Progress doesn’t always feel like progress.
This is part of the process.
Even though it’s hard, I choose to keep showing up.

You are not starting over.
You are spiraling upward.
Every time you return to your wellness vision, your breath, your tapping… you're laying down a new pathway.

You're Working With The Neuroplasticity Of Your Brain

Neuroplasticity is the ability of the brain to change itself.

So when you're putting all of these wellness practices into play, you're changing the brain's structure as well as its function. Those little dendrates, those little branch like pieces of the neurons in your brain, they actually increase in size when something is repeated over and over and over, like, a well worn path in grass, like, if you keep walking over that same path of grass, you're going to wear a pathway in it, so where the grass is actually going to get worn out,  and you're going to see that a beautiful path has formed now, right?

That's exactly what all of these wellness practices do over a period of time to our brain.

We are creating new pathways, and the repetition from practicing these wellness modalities is a beautiful way to create healthy pathways in the brain.

Take it to riding a bicycle. The more you ride that bike, the better your learning becomes. It gets easier over time.

I'm learning how to play the drums right now, and I was having a really difficult time transferring what I was learning at my lesson to practicing at home. So what I started doing was having my teacher record my practice. This way, I could turn on my video, watch what I was doing, and then I could practice over and over again.

Once I got it, I didn't need to use my video on the phone anymore. I could do it on my own because I was making and creating those pathways in my brain.

Remember This

So if you're feeling like, “This shouldn’t still feel so heavy,” I want you to remember this:

You are not stuck. You are not back at the beginning. You are in motion...soft, spiraled, sacred motion.

This path you’re walking? It’s not a race to the finish line. It’s a return to yourself.

Every shaky breath, every tear, every moment you choose to show up even when it’s hard, is wiring your nervous system to feel safer in your own skin. To trust peace. To make room for ease.

This is what healing actually looks like.

And yes, it can feel like dragging bricks around some days. But even then… your body is listening. Your brain is changing. You are shifting.

So give yourself credit for coming back to this work. For trying again. For choosing softness instead of shame.

Because even when it feels like nothing is happening, everything is happening.

You're doing beautifully. Let’s keep going…together.

If you've got some stories to share or questions to ask, I'd love to hear them. Your insights and experiences might just be the spark that another parent needs to hear. Leave a comment or DM me on Instagram at @jenncaputo because when we lift each other up, we all grow wiser.

Remember, it's not about being perfect. It's about being easy with the practice.